My Autistic Daughter
Adobe Stock Photo
When most people think of a person with Autism, they think of a white male. My second child is an African American female. This is our story. From the moment my husband and I brought her home from the hospital, she was extremely sensitive to light and sound. As I monitored her developmental progress, she was on target for the physical standards but not the social. For example, she could pull my glasses off my face but I couldn’t get her to smile. She was also nonverbal; she did a lot of crying because she was often frustrated and I felt my daughter’s pain.
After months of expressing my concerns to one pediatrician, I decided to make an appointment with another pediatrician; we scheduled an appointment for mental retardation. After a few assessments, we were able to rule that out.
We placed her in a preschool that could help with her delays in speech among other things. The first year was fabulous. That teacher and I were on the exact same page, but she got married and moved away. The second year there was a new teacher, and she wanted to label my daughter emotionally disturbed. My husband and I would not accept such a label. We didn’t know what was wrong with her, but we knew that wasn’t it. I wasn’t going to allow anyone to place any label on my child for their convenience. During that time, I learned about fabrics that made her scream and that equine therapy allowed her to meet and interact with other children to practice her social skills. It also gave me a chance to talk to other parents with similar stories that got my daughter to an art class that she loved and allowed her to develop a different form of expression.
Writer’s daughter when she was younger
After we were able to get the authentic label, I cried during this bittersweet moment. As I sent my daughter to school, 90% of the teachers were fabulous. They knew if there was a concern, I was there at the school. I never missed a conference, because I knew that I was my daughter’s voice.
When it was time for her to learn to drive, she couldn’t pass the written test. I suggested that they give her to test verbally, she passed!
My husband, daughter and I realized that some companies wouldn’t hire her because it didn’t fit with their brand, we were not giving up. My husband found a company that is willing to hire individuals who are different, but not less. I am proud to say that my daughter has been employed with the same company for three years and she drives herself to work. She has been asked to join the company for full-time employment with benefits.
She continues to need more help than her sister, but with patience she eventually gets it.
Please remember, you know your child best. I didn’t always go along with their answers, but I was always respectful, even when I saw the situation differently.
Bay Collyns
I enjoy writing for children and their families. I consider myself a lifelong learner and I am pleased to be on this journey of discovery with diverse ideas. My motto is today and reader and tomorrow a leader.
I have been published in Kappan Magazine (April, 2021) and Equestrians of Color (July, 2021).
My husband and I live in Orlando, Florida. I relish my years of teaching and parenting our two daughters. My leisure times allows me to help children with disabilities improve the quality of their lives by riding horses in addition to riding myself.
Remember: “Words are nourishment to the soul as food is nourishment for the body.”