Breaking the Approval Addiction: What My Inner Child Told Me

Photo Credit: Steven Jermaine @5amtoday Model: Rowana Abbensetts-Dobson

Do you ever find yourself feeling sorry and saying things like "When I get my big break? It seems like my moment never comes."? Well readers, so do I.

The other day I found myself in a rather self-pitying mood after receiving 2 writing related rejections in a day. Whew! We all have something that everyone tells us we're good at. We're used to receiving praise and approval for this thing, often since we were young, and going without that validation for a while can leave you feeling low.

Rejection is tough, and as a writer, you're pretty much guaranteed to receive way more rejections than acceptances, but I've noticed that it doesn't matter how many yeses I receive, I seem to be hooked on the dopamine hit of acceptance. Then I realized that this need for acceptance went deeper than writing.

Lately, I've been learning a lot about re-parenting yourself and listening to your inner child. I even did an inner-child meditation in order to access my inner child and learn her basic needs and desires. What I found was a young Rowana who wanted 2 things really badly, to be heard and to be accepted.

Looking back on my life, I started to see this approval addiction everywhere. It started with seeking the approval of my parents, then I sought friends and popularity, then approval from men, then approval from employers and institutions. Heck, I'll even get it from Instagram. Getting that pat on the back was the equivalent to a natural high for me. The problem with living that way is that your self-esteem is completely in the hands of someone else. When you're in favor, it feels like you're on top of the world, but when you're not the chosen one, life sucks.

So lately I’ve started affirming my inner child telling her she is worthy. You are worthy right now. You are enough right now and have within you all the tools you need to thrive. 

Photo Credit: Steven Jermaine @5amtoday Model: Rowana Abbensetts-Dobson

Here Are Some Affirmations You Can Use To Reparent Your Inner Child:

I love myself at every age and stage of life.

I love my younger self and the person I am becoming.

I am deeply rooted and supported.

I am, and always have been, worthy of love.

I forgive my past self for the mistakes I made.

I give myself grace for the the growth journey I am on.

Let me know if these affirmations worked for you or what you would add. Do you ever get discouraged by rejection and how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments!