September Newsletter - You Create Your World: A Note for Creative Women
You Create Your World
I hope this message finds you well. I apologize for a later than usual September Newsletter. I’ve had the busiest first week of September ever as a student and a mom. This month, we uplift Suicide Awareness, one of the founding causes of Spoken Black Girl which amplifies mental health awareness. Please check in on the folks you love in your life, especially the young people. Let them know that you care. We’re all facing silent challenges that other will probably never know about. I want to encourage anyone struggling with your mental health to reach out for help from the many qualified professionals in our community.
My message this month is a reminder to my creative women that you create your world. It’s time to stop letting limiting beliefs, trauma, and fear of judgement shape your reality. Live expansively! You are powerful beyond belief.
If someone tells me it’s impossible or not for me, I’m going to try to do it just to prove them wrong. Never let another person’s limited perspective cloud your view of what’s possible for your life because no one person can control what’s meant for you.
Source: via Pinterest
Earlier this year, I interviewed for a job at a school I was considering for my daughter. On the day of the interview, I had an epic struggle with getting my resume together and getting dressed while my son cried and wrapped himself around my leg. Long story short, I was five minutes late. I went through the interview, confident that I had done well. The next day I got an email saying I didn’t get the job because “My tardiness showed that I was unreliable” well, sorry. Maybe it’s true. I responded to this feedback with disclosing that I had recently been diagnosed with ADHD. That and being a mom can sometimes mean that things come up unexpectedly. While time blindness and ADHD is a thing, I’m so traumatized by being scolded for being late that I often find that I’m anxious about getting places on time, even if my mind is working against me.
I realized in that moment that the rejection was God’s protection, because that job would have had me stressed out every day. No matter how many times I showed up on time. The times I was late would always count more. It also reminded me of why I started my own business and started doing freelance, contract, and consultant work. My dream is to be able to do my work from anywhere all over the world. God has really delivered on that promise! But here I go trying to compromise that promise because I was in fear and anxiety about my path being good enough.
Let me just tell you that you are good enough. Your chosen path is enough. That’s a huge insecurity for writers and authors. We feel like we have to be a million things, offer so much more because we’re “only writers”. Bump that! Your value is evident. Your worth is everlasting.
I feel like this is such an important point for writers because we get a lot of “no’s" and rejections. Or just plain ignored! What’s for you won’t miss you. I started the summer hoping to get a job and ended it by building my career as a communications and marketing consultant (more on this soon!).
It’s evident that there’s a different path for me than what my parents generation ever experienced in their careers. We are discovering that more than ever we are the source of our own abundance. Elevating our thoughts in gratitude, eating well, keeping our bodies active, breathing, prayer and meditation are all acts of self-love that acknowledge this deep gratitude to our abundant nature.
Source: via Pinterest
Notes to Self for September:
Your challenges are helping your grow in ways that will pay off in your future.
Things do get better.
Always act with intention.
Set your boundaries but keep an open and loving heart.
I’ve found that as my list of responsibilities grow, I’ve had to say “no” more, and be real about my list of priorities. As a business owner, mom of two, and now a MFA student, there’s less spontaneity in my days. I don’t know if you’ve ever had to go anywhere with a one-year-old and a five-year-old, but the effort alone means that every move in my life takes planning. (That includes your dreams. Especially your dreams! Are you writing them down?)
Rather than feeling burdened by my responsibilities or planning for everything that can go wrong, I’ve gotten into the habit of planning for everything to work out and go exceedingly well. That sounds logical, but for anyone who is sensitive to rejection knows you can be sensitive to your own plans failing, so you just don’t make any, or you hold back on the effort.
As a kid, my birthday was never a big deal or was celebrated with my older sister’s birthday which is two days earlier. I had to learn independently of my original family unit that it was important to celebrate myself. Even into adulthood, I struggled with feelings of abandonment, fear, and anxiety around my birthday. I must thank my husband, who got me into celebrating my birthday and always does his best to make it special despite my self-sabotaging tendencies. For other people, I can always find the time and effort, my people pleasing would ensure this. But for myself, I often allowed myself to be last and get the leftovers.
Source: via Pinterest
Unexpectedly, motherhood has given me a lesson in self-love and self-reliance. For the first few years into motherhood I was so depleted. I fell deeper into the “put yourself last” philosophy that I was conditioned to embrace. As a result, depression grew and thoughts of “not enough” circled but were kept at bay by the love in my heart. It’s been an eventful and divinely fated journey, but I’ve realized that I am the heart and strength of my family. When mom is strong and doing well, the family is also doing well. Through trials and tribulations I realized my faith would carry me far. Out of love for my children, I had to realize that my divine essence is highly sought after, valued, and needed. Once I started to believe these things, I started to attract opportunities that reflect how I feel inside.
I had to get real about who I am. One thing life will teach you is whatever everyone else is doing doesn’t have to be for you. Every time I try to step outside of what’s authentic to me in order to be “more normal” or have a life like everyone else, I’m confronted with the fact that I’m not everyone else.
Neither are you. You’re a unique expression of love.
Being at peace with who you are is so freeing, because you can let everything that’s not for you pass you and rest in knowing that your good is on its way. I hope September brings you the Yes(es) you’ve been waiting for.
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UPCOMING EVENTS
I would love to be in community with you this month! Join us for a virtual or in person gathering!
Open Mic Opportunity!
To sign up for the open mic please email contact@spokenblackgirl.com with your picture and bio.
